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I fell madly in love with my husband, he became verbally abusive

 I fell madly in love with a man who treated me like a queen. He asked me to marry him after 1 1/2 years of dating. Once we got married he became verbally abusive. He would get upset if I didn't call him in to wash my back. He got angry at me for leaving post it notes to remind him of things. I forget things due to the mini strokes. What brought this all to a head was when I confronted him about some of the ways he was making me feel bad. He immediately packed his bags and left. After 4 days he returned and I took him back. The weekend we spent together was nice. On Sunday I had a severe migraine headache. We had intimate relations that morning. That evening he wanted to repeat the act. I told him my head was really hurting. He told me if I was a few years younger I could do it more than once a day. 

It really hurt my feelings. Just as we got ready to go to bed he received a phone call. I overheard the conversation. It was a woman saying she really enjoyed the time they spent together the other night. I asked him what it was about. He stated that he just met her at a club and talked to her. It was an old friend of his. I called the number back and asked her why she was calling my husband. She stated in a screaming voice, "your husband has been f****ng me" Those words rocked my world. 

I couldn't believe it. My life was miserable after this. I have attempted suicide 3 times since. It was like I was grieving. I lost someone I loved dearly. I have missed so much work that I no longer have my position anymore. I am trying to get on disability because of all my physical and mental problems. In the meantime I have no paid days off because of all my previous absenses. I will not be able to get on disability for 90 days if at all. I understand it is very difficult to get on. I need help to pay for my everyday expenses. I am selling my car. Don't know what I will do for transportation but I will manage. If you can find it in your heart to help someone down on her luck I would greatly appreciate it. I don't want to die but it crosses my mind daily. All my problems would be gone. I just know my children would be devistated.

                                                                                
                  
       


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