My lifelong dream has to have a child above any other. I was taught never to give up on my dreams and have achieved many lesser dreams through hard work and persistence. However life and death are sometimes out of our control. I have done everything I can to make my dream happen. After years of misdiagnosis there was new hope when a Gynaecologist discovered the problem, and I embarked upon many surgical treatments back to back, working, having surgery etc. I knew there was only a small window period for me to be successful as although the problem had not been with my fertility, by the time the problem was discovered, I was 39 years old. 

The chances of success were by that time slim. I underwent this journey alone, and I have always been fiercely independent. However I am now informed by specialists that my only hope to have a child is to travel overseas for treatment, an expensive proposition open only to those with money. People have told me that I was silly selling my house that I had bought when I was in my twenties to fund treatment for a child, but what else is there in life if not a child to love. I was privileged to have the best mum in the world, and never had to look further than my own mother and father to find real heroes. 

My father died when I was 11 years old but was a father who loved me very much. I couldn't have had better parents. My mother is in her twilight years now, and the prospect of never having a child to love and nurture as she did for me, is sometimes all consuming. My late sister moved me when prior to passing away from  cancer having just given birth two years earlier to a little girl, gave me her daughter's baby clothes knowing of my dreams. She thought of me in her darkest hours and I did not know how to react to my beautiful sister. 

My other  sister is a catholic and often says I am selfish and it is unnatural to want to have a child so desparately, but I would give everything I am and all the love I have to a child. I have thought of little else for too many years. Family is everything to me, and every person has different dreams and aspirations. By some people's standards I am a 'success', and have achieved many significant achievements in my life but they don't know of my private
 pain. My father always taught me to never give up, but also to cultivate good values. It is therefore very difficult to ask for any help, and I feel a little shamed in asking for help. I wish adoption were easier in my country but it is easier to adopt a foetus unfortunately. 

My only real hope of having a child is to undergo surgery in the US or Europe, which is very expensive. I think of death and life a lot lately, and  unfortunately money stands between me being able to continue to fulfil my deepest longing. This is a lonely place to be and I don't talk about it much as having children seems to have come naturally and easily to so many around me. I would be grateful for any assistance you can provide me, and regret that I have been reduced to ask for charity. I would name any child that was born after a donor, not as a token gesture, but out of gratitude to a person who helped me with the greatest gift  of all,  the gift of giving life. 

My sister paid the ultimate sacrifice for her opportunity to give life when she was suffering from cancer. She chose to give life at risk of her cancer returning. She was a bold and beautiful spirit, as is my mother.